Love or hate
by DracoLover1989
Summary: In the middle of the night Draco is thinking of someone and to what happened one of the nights together with this person.. Whant to know who? Just read.. HD! Complete!
1. I Hate you, I Hate you more!

**A/N** **I'm not that good in English because I'm from Holland. So please don't blame me for my spelling faults. I can't help it. But I like to know what you guys think of this fic. So please review. And its just a short one but maybe I make it just a bit longer.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of this... I just like to write story's about Harry Potter and that kind of stuff. I promise I will give them back. (blah, blah, blah, yeah right!!!:D)**

**Summary: In the middle of the night Draco is thinking of someone and to what happened one of the nights together with this person.. Whant to know who? Just read..**

Love or hate?

_I hate you,_

I hear you saying over and over again and still when I close my eyes and think back to that time when we where all alone standing against the wall in the middle of the night, mine back against the wall whith you standing right in front of me, you pressing heavily against me. I can still feel your lips ontop of mine, still feel your heart beating against mine, your emerald green eyes into mine icy gray eyes. I still think back to that night. I just can´t forget it doesn´t matter how hard I try too. I hate him.. Yes I know that for sure I certainly don´t love him! So it has to be hate.. And I told you so that night..

_I hate you too Potter. _I whispered and I took a look at you. You seemed not to care wheter I said that or not. But your eyes said enough. You hated me to, altough that seemed to be. We where ment to be for hating each other.

_Why? Why do we hate each other so much Malfoy? _You asked and you looked me deeply in the eyes. _Because we are enemies, that´s why.._ I said coldly and hold his eyes. And deep inside of me I wished we weren´t from different houses and that we weren´t enemies. I liked to have him this close to me and to feel him against me whith his lips on mine ones.

I looked up at him and I saw him crying. My eyes grew wide and I took a sit infront of him. I lay my hand on his knee and then he looked up. His tears falling from his cheeks. I brushed them away with my finger and took a deep breath. I wanted to say something but I just couldn´t find the right words. The last thing I could do was to wrap my arms around him and comfored him. _I hate you! Hate you for hating me!_ He kept saying and tryed to pull me away. But I wouldn´t let him go away. I hold him tight against me when I also started to cry.

We where sitting in that possition for a long time, till we heared footsteps comming closer and closer. I stood up and pulled Harry and myself into one other hall. Where we waited for the footsteps to go away. I looked at you and you looked at me. I swallowed and let your arms go, wich I was still holding.

_I need to go now. _I said whith pain in my heart and looked at you. You nodded and you knew that you had to go back to your dorm too. A final kiss we shared before we left the hall. Each on other way. I looked back over my sholder, and so did you.

"I hate you Potter.." I said to him one last time before I turned the corner heading back to the Slytherin dorm. "I hate you more Malfoy.." you said with a hugh grin on your face. And then we both left. Each our own way..

**A/N So what do you think of this fic? I´m realy pleased about it this time.. :P Please let me know where my faults are in and if I do have to make this story longer.. I´m already busy with updating this story!.. :P Soon there will be more to read..**


	2. On the Quidditch field

**A/N Yes this is chapter 2 of the story. Maybe still to short?**

Draco Malfoy still laying awake at 4 o´clock staring at the seeling. Still thinking. Even he doesn´t know why it´s keeping him awake. It doesn´t matter to him what Harry is saying. It was just a big mistake what happened that night in the hallway. Draco turned over in his bed and pulled his sheet over his head. He forced himself to keep his eyes closed and not to think again about what happened between him and Harry. _"Stupid Potter.. I hate you damn it.." _he mumbeled. And after a few minites he finaly falled asleep.

The next morning Draco could not come out of bed. He felt misarable and broken. With a groan he stood up and strumbled to the bathroom for a quick shower and pulled on his clothes. Ready for breakfast. Not that he was hungry but jet again he had to eat someting before he went to the quidditch field for a training. Ore else he would fell of his broom and break someting.

He made his way to the Greathall and sat on his seat on the Slythering table. _"Man Drake what have you done? You look like shit!" _Pansy shooted and made a face. _"Fuck off Pansy." _Draco snarled. And started to eat something. His eyes swifted to the Griffondor table wondering if Potter appeared to breakfast. But Potter wasn´t there and he sighted slowly breathing trough his nose returning to his own breakfast wondering why Potter wasn´t there.

After breakfast Draco hurried to the quidditch field. He was already late for training. "A finaly you´re here and so much on time! Now get on you´re broom then we can start the training.." Draco said nothing, just jumped on his broom so the training could start.

The training went well and Draco cought the snitch very quickly. His housemates where alraidy to the lockerroom for a quick shower when Draco finaly stood on the floor. And then it happened. There was someone else on the field and it wasn´t a housemate. The young figure came towards Draco. The wind turned on. So it seemed to be and the sun turned away. Drawing shadows over the field.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" Draco snorted, gray eyes into green. But there was no answer. "Lost you´re tongue Potter?"

"Just shut you´re hole Malfoy.. I need to talk to you. In private if you know what I mean." Harry said and forced himself just to keep looking to Draco. Looking him deep in the eye.

Draco´s knees got week under him and turned his head away. "Fin. I will fucking talk with you but can you leave me alone afterwards?"

"I will if you realy want that. Meet me tonight at the Astronomy tower 8 o´clock." Harry stepped closer to Draco. They stood eye in eye feeling each other breath. Harry triend to kiss Draco forcing his lips to Draco´s. But Draco pushed him away. Hard. Harry felt to the ground. "Don´t you ever try to kiss me ever again or you´re will be a death man Potter!" Draco shouted and stared dangerously at Harry pointing his wand at him.

Harry stumbled back on his feet and watched at him with a grin on his face but from the inside he was broken. "Don´t point you´re wand at me like that Malfoy. I don´t want to fight you right now." Harry spoke calm and looked at a almost exploding Draco Malfoy.

"Calm down Mal-" Harry was cutting of. "But you tried to fucking kiss me! Dont you understand that it hounted the air and the life out of me?! Whell do you?!" Draco stood there still pointing his wand at Harry and his other hand cletched at a fist.

"You just didn´t expected it. Calm down Malfoy what´s al that drama about? We already kissed before and I just wondered if it would be the same this time."

"But I don´t want to kiss you! Not now not ever again do you understand why?" Draco took a deep breath. "Because I hate you damnit!"

"You don´t hate me." Harry said with his eyes wide open in dissbelief.

"Yes I do. Don´t you fucking say I don´t because I do!" Draco was turning red and held his wand tight in his hand, his other hand turning white. His nails dugging into his flesh almost making it to bleed.

"You´re in denail Malfoy. It´s a pitty you can´t act like a grown up. You´re so infantile!" Harry turned his back at Draco turning to leave the field. "Don´t forget. 8 o´clock this evening." Harry mumbled to Draco and left the field. Leaving Draco behind al alone.

**A/N: Oke chapter 2 finished:D Already busy with chapter 3! Please let me know what you think of my story this far.. Puppy eyes!**


	3. My final destination

**A/N: Yes people this is chapter 3 of the story. This is the last part of the story so enjoy! And please review.. **

**My final destination.**

It was almost 8 o´clock. Already dark. Stars shining in the skay and a bright full moon was grossing my eyes. I was in the Astronamy Tower to think. Think again and again and again. It was driving me crazy. Maybe I was in denail just like Harry said. But I don't want it to be the truth. I am not gay. And even if I was I should sertenly not be in love with my worst and biggest enemy in the whole whide world. Maybe Harry is just giving me the feeling that I'm worth to live. That my life has a meaning. And that I'm not just Draco Malfoy son of a Death Eater. A have a reason to live. I just needed Harry, to feel good and special. I never felt that ever before. And to be honest.. It feels like heaven. So what is Potter´s excuse?

I don't hate Harry. I never did. I was young very young to know what my feelings where meaning.  
I only know that I was completely overwhelmed when I saw Harry for the very first time. His beautiful green eyes, his dark messy hear. His amazing muscled body. Though he had never played Quidditch ever before. But he had a great body. I wanted to be his friend.. And maybe even more.. NO! Do not think of that! Shit.. I fucking hate you Potter! No I don´t! I´m in fucking denail!

But you refussed my friendship. I was heartbroken and very jealous of that daft Weasel boy and that.. How do I have to call it to be nice? I don't know I'm not nice. Everything accept that! Whell OK then I will trie.. Granger girl. I called her name without managing the word MUDBLOOD! I bloody don't care how I call that stupid slut. Oh for Merlins sake.. Here I go again.. I slammed myself for my head. I'm seriously jealous. Yes jealous on those friends of you'res. Maybe that's why I begon hating you. You for not being my friend. But their friend. You deserve so much better than that. I could have been you´re friend. If you had let me. I look and act like a asshole but I can realy be a good friend.

I hear footstepps comming closer. I turn my head towards the door when it croaked open. But there was no one who came inside. The door shut. "Who´s there?" My voice filling the empty room.  
I stand up searching in my pocket for my wand.

"Ssshhh Malfoy it´s me.." Harry´s voice from out a corner. And a second later he was in the room fisible. "Amazing isn´t it?" Harry said and smiled briefly.

"You have an invisibilaty cloak?" my eyes where wide with surprise for a second. My mouth almost on my feet. "Very inpressive Potter.." I said calm standing cool against the wall. There was a silent moment. I was thinking what to say next. There wasn´t much to say. And I should realy make Harry my excuses for my behaviour this afternoon. But where should I start? I didn´t knew.

I looked at Harry wich was standing on the other side of the room. He looked so calm and so beautifull. With his hair and eyes radiating in the moonlight. Who where I kidding? I never hated him, I never did, I love Harry. I deeded him, wanted him. Wanted him to be mine. But why did I never said that to him? Whell I was afraid that he wasn´t feeling the same way. He is after all the boy-who-lived. No one would think he was homosexual. It would break the dream of mybe thousands of girls. No one would expect Harry to be gay. And neither was I. I even didn´t knew I was GAY! Maybe I´m bisexual.

"So Potter why let you came me in here?" I asked still looking at Harry. "I told you I wanted to talk to you." That bright Potter. Aarrggh. "Yes... So what is it then?" I asked with the same calm tone of my voice and raised one eyebrow. "I want to make something clear here. About us and our little thing from last time." Harry begon. "You want to know why I kissed you on the first place? Whell It´s not easy to explane but I will try at least.." he took a breath and swallowed. He was looking at his feet. Harry was looking so cute like that I wanted to hug him and even kiss him. Wanted him to be in my arms. And to hold that, not only for this night but for the rest of my life.

"I lossed everything you know. First my parents when I was very young. And then Serius Black wich was my godfather. And not to forget my best friends like Ron and Hermoine. I lossed everything I carred and loved for. Nothing I got left. My whole life sunk to hell. I even thought about ending my life. Just to be gone and away from everything." He took a moment and looked at me. With his eyes filled with tears. Beating them back. "I trayed to, But failed. I couldn´t do it, couldn´t finish it. Because when I was almost there I saw you. And I realize now that you are the only one who ever understood me. Knew the real me. Like no one ever did. With you I felt and still feel save. You´re the only one who wanted to know the real me. And showed interest. We understand each other. You know how to hurt me, how to hurt me so keenly that I knowyou understand my soul."

I just stood there with my arms crossed. Looking at him and feeling my heart break. Harry was right. I´m the only one who realy know him. I always spyed at him. Since I came here at Hogwards. I just never expected him to be so... human. Oh, everyone sees the ´boy who lived.´ The Quidditch Champ, the kid who takes on Voldemort every summer and wins... Whell I dont. I never have. I see messy black hair and skin slightly flushed becaude he´s nearly always nervous and these hideous glasses and... and.. green eyes that I wish I could look at all day. I see a boy who wants more than anything just to be loved. He doesn´t want to be set on a pedestal, or fated, or championed. Harry can be alone in a room of crowed people, I can tell. And he doesn´t deserve that.

"Malfoy? Say something please?" Harry almost begged. I took a few steppes closer to him. Just far enough to take him in my armes. "Please call me Draco know.." I said and held Harry tight. As we looked each other in the eye we simply smiled weakly. "Draco?" Harry whispered. "Yes?" I stroked his hair out of his eyes. "Will you be able to love me.. Just the way I love you?" I looked harry deep in his eyes. Seeing shining litle stars. So much full of love but on the other hand darkness and fear. I kissed him on the lips. Very soft and slowly with al my love.

"I believe so.. because I already do love you.. Harry.."

"I love you to Draco.."

Then I woke up. In my own bed at the Malfoy Mansion. A good Malfoy would not have the dreams I do, of living in peace with my lover, just the two of us, a quiet little life. Away from war and hatred stuggle. No more battles or dark wizards. No more death. Just us.

It´s a pleasant dream. Pleasant perhaps because it´s so impossible. I´d sooth his fears, calm him when he cried, make him feel finally, that he was wanted and needed and loved... knowing all the while that his love for me... his need for me... kept me sane. Made me whole.

I knew my final destination!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the story. Concerning the revieuws I´m looking for someone who can help me with the spell check because there are a lot of mistakes. Not to mention that I´m not from England but from The Netherlands! So is there someone who would like to help? Please let me know!


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